if you ask me how many times I masturbated, honestly I can’t answer that question because it is uncountable. What I remember is only the first time I masturbated. When I was in the first year of junior high school, my family was going to I forgot about the place, or was only my parents and my sister and brother going by themselves or they’re going together without me and left me home alone? It was an afternoon. Before that of course I often watched porn but without masturbating and still after watching porn I regret it. But that afternoon, I don’t know I’m just scared and want to test whether my penis is working because I’m scared of the manual that when I compare myself to others, I experienced a different event with my friends. When I ask them what if their penis gets disiram with warm water and they answer that there is no problem with that. But when my penis gets sprinkled with warm water, my penis gets hurt. I don’t know why. I don’t talk about this problem to my parents because I’m too shy. And my balls are quite bigger than others and asymmetrical(I know now that asymmetrical balls are normal).
So because of that, I want to check that I’m not mandul to myself. In the back room of my house, I started to run my wifi and then connect to my handphone. I forgot about using a VPN or not. But I was streaming pornhub and youporn at that time and I picked the best video that I want to check if mandul or not. After finding a good video, I picked a lot of tissues and put them on the floor. I turned down my trousers and pants, and my hand was shaking my piny. And then finally I cummed. At that time I ensure myself not to do that again. Because I know that I am not mandul. But I can’t maintain that idea. Whenever I am alone again, that feeling when i felt “Is it I can cum” it proves by the biology lesson that I can make a baby. and I did the second masturbation, with regret. And after that I repeat that I was addicted. And I feel like I cant live without porn. Porn is damaging me.