At elementary school, I joined the Karate Extracurricular. After a lot of practices are done in our school, my teacher decided to take us to walk around out of school.
I think my teacher didn’t care about the place. The point is it sort of relaxation so that we would not be boring only to learn karate in our school. Yes, it is boringness, that makes people do anything, only to diminish their boredom. Even by walk without purpose, as long as it didn’t stand in the same situation, somehow it diminished their boredom. And when it stands in the same situation again for such a long time, they to do any other thing than that, only to diminish the boredom. The concept of boredom is never understood by a fool like me.
And back again to walk with my Karate’s teacher and my friends at that club. What I remember is we walk around the rice field. We walk through the narrow street. A lot of people talking about something that we never heard on that narrow street. It looks like we walk at the labyrinth. The difference is the labyrinth we through are full of people talking and interacting with each other. We walk with hospitality as if we are kind people as if we need to do such things and the clever people said that as ethics.
But I didn’t understand that concept until now. Why do we need to do such things, when we do hospitality or any other good thing we know that it only holds out for a second, then the object we hospitalized at them forget about something that most people consider as a good thing.
But when it comes to doing the bad thing, people will notice and mark that person. Even maybe after a few times, people will forget it too but it is longer than good things. What I mean is why do we strive for something trivial such as good or in that case is hospitality. I just add this part so that my writing is looked long and maybe broaden my English vocabulary. If it was trivial things, we attempt those action and convinced ourself as it was a process of learning.
So after we walked on the narrow streets, we reached the rice field and took a rest for a moment at the farmer’s resting place at the rice field. Then we came back again to our school. My teacher is in behind of our rows, but I was in the first so I reached the school at first. When I want to cross the street, I didn’t look at the road, I just walk unconsciously, and a motorcycle crash into me. At that moment I felt that the crash hit is a great experience in my life. I was bounced on the street and I rolling down the street. The motorcycle didn’t really crash hit me so hard so I don’t know if it’s an event which should I be grateful for or I should be disappointed because it didn’t kill me.
The people surrounded by me ask me whether I am getting hurt or not. At that time I was feeling like someone who woke up from suddenly being surrounded by many people and the face of the people there is pity or confusion to me.
“Are you okay?”
“Is there something hurt?”
And I said no, I am alright. The rider just smiled and laughed at me because I knew I was at fault because I have no patience to cross the road. And the rider just left that happened. The funny thing is people keep asking me is there something hurt and ask me whether I am alright. I already told them that I am alright, even my ear was scratched and got a little scar. And they asked me continuously.
The thing that makes me angry is my Karate Teacher’s Face. The face of someone so scared because he maybe feels so responsible for what happened. And I knew at that time the teacher will never let us go out again and just keep practicing in the school. From there I just hate myself.
One small unexpected incident.
Only one person was involved.
And that affects everything that happens after that.
It’s always true for everything. In every instance where we are careless and don’t care about others, we don’t know that we might hurt others. People are funny, we interact and it might hurt others, even though we don’t interact, we still hurt others. The concept of the Butterfly effect.
And when people around me asked whether I am alright,
I already said I am fine, I am alright, I am very f healthy.
Or is it something that you don’t want to hear? That you want to hear something against him so that you know that I am honest? Honest, truth, what kind of scum are they? It even confuses me, am I said honestly? And between honest and right what the f should I said towards you?
Yes, I said I am fine.
And I do the right things.
Even so, why do I still hurt someone else?
By doing the right things, why I feel so wrong?