Want to be a physicists

I always pray that my family always be moderate, don’t really need to be rich but enough to fill any physical needs.

I always jealous to who can really enjoy solitude, out of the culture or civilization, in order to try to understand what lies behind the truth.

Of course I knew I am dumb and slow, but I just want to understand what and how, and I don’t really care about the why anymore. And it doesn’t mean I am giving up about this civilization, but it is simply because everyone has to be has their own madness.

Sometimes people lose their own madness and depends on society, and the agreement erase personal madness and make anybody who count and depends on society, hard to understand what unique madness which they have. And it is case which I face for now, that I depend on civilization, that I forgot about my own madness.

So in order to find my own madness I want to try to be them who try to understand their own madness, even it seems so late and my progress and fundamental aspects of understand madness is slow, I’d still want to try to understand.

I don’t really care again about what’s outside. All the difference in ideology, politics, religion, I don’t want again depends myself on the madness of others. Because I just want to find my own madness.

So if anyone ask me what I can offer is only to find it own madness, not the civilization madness

Game Theory

People seldom to act rasionally because it is boring to do so. People always wanted challenges because it will make them feel more energetic. Because rationality is boring, and that’s why people love poetry, film, and any art, even technology is created to fulfill human imagination. Because imagination is everything that couldn’t described by reality.

Self first, another seconds.

Look at someone who always travelling, around the world.

Everyone has the will to have a power. And by what regulation to make everyone has the same power? Could technology breaks every law that create distinction of power? At first technology create machine, then democratized the information. Is democratized information and science diminish the power gaps? It still not occured yet but It had been being part of exertion to remove the gaps.

But a lots of that having a little domination still want to keep their domination. Information and science still works, but they still pursue their own regulation to keep their domination.

And by the way, who want to breaks the disparity of power? It looked like only who has no domination want to pursue those law. So what kind of law do they want to pursue?

Is it the law of comedy? If it so, I am in pursuing this law, to prove the game theory, created based on law of comedy.

The Lonely Creator

I scroll everything through social media and asking, is it really human? Is it true or it is just counterfeit. I can’t hold this shit. The world built by lonely guys will create a lonely world, no matter how beauty it is decorated, no matter it takes much time to built, if the world is built by lonely guys, no matter the intention is to unite lots of lonely guys, it cannot achieve those intention, because it forgot about the facts, that it is built by lonely guys.

Knewing this fact we can share and feel about the creator of the world, how can he built this such a world. Are they lonely? Like me? But I am not sure, that every creator of the world is lonely. Maybe there is who are feeling cheerfull or powerful enough to make lonely world while themselves are not lonely. Because we can see that human too, create something they did not know. Somehow the creator of the lonely world didn’t know that what they are building is full loneliness, regrets, and sorrow. Maybe because they don’t know? Or we’re just assuming something we don’t know. All the dying who has created something, are they aware of what their creation have become this time? Or did they think it will be much greater than today? But I believe they don’t have any idea what their creation could become. Because all the creator didn’t know where they are coming from.

So here is, the little ideas from the little mind. All the little mind always have prejudice into something, while actually they knew nothing. And I assume that thing too. Everything is valid, we’re just doing nothing, we didn’t know anything, we don’t know to that we don’t know anything. Or in this little ignorance, there is something at least suitable for us to be fighting for.

Or we could accept that everythiing can’t be know, because we are just a slave. And a slave is not something that bad, but is something the true, the real, the genuine, so it never looked as something subordinate. But it is really something real and genuine. Because we’re just a slave, and a slave can never act likes a creator. If they are creating something, it always seen as the product of the creator of the creator.

So basically every deeds are null, because we’re just slave. We never do somehing. It always the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator of the creator…….

It never ends. Slave have to act like a slave. And creator didn’t need something from slave.