I’ve come to understand concepts like the ‘spotlight effect,’ delved into the intriguing depths of ‘The Mind Explained’ Netflix series, and engaged with content that reminds us of our shared humanity in this vast world.
The phrase “kullu nafsin daikotul maut” resonates, reminding us that every soul will face mortality. Then there’s YOLO, the philosophy of seizing the day, and the notion of entropy and complexity, which rise with the passage of time. It’s fascinating how youth, before the age of 25, often wrestle with heightened neuroticism.
Despite immersing myself in these perspectives, overcoming my social anxiety remains a challenge. I’ve made attempts to adapt and acclimate over months, if not years, without keeping exact track. Studying for my bachelor’s degree in the bustling heart of Jakarta, a city teeming with life, has provided ample opportunities to navigate its bustling public transport system solo.
Yet, having grown up in Indonesia, a culture deeply rooted in social interactions, there lingers a touch of social anxiety whenever I find myself undertaking activities alone—particularly when it comes to dining in public spaces.
The question of which societal framework is superior—individualistic or social—persists. Each has its distinct traits, merits, and drawbacks. In cultures that prioritize social cohesion, like mine, navigating these nuances can be a rewarding but intricate endeavor.
Small talk, I find, often feels insincere and fleeting. I yearn for conversations about dreams, visions, and aspirations—those moments of mental exploration that feel liberating. Sharing in these moments of cerebral indulgence serves to bridge connections and, in a peculiar way, renders me less inclined towards perceived perversions.
When individuals engage in conversations about complex and intriguing subjects, my interest in them deepens. I appreciate humor that possesses a certain darkness or a biting edge, akin to acknowledging the complex reality of places like Palestine. It’s a step towards awareness, a precursor to action, and a gauge of one’s moral compass.
Conversations about hobbies, lavish events, luxury items, and the like, though common, often leave me yearning for discussions that delve deeper. There’s an inclination to explore what isn’t taught at Harvard Business School—the art of forming genuine connections, seeing beyond the superficial.
Perhaps this is a skillset more vital for executives, who navigate a realm where authentic interactions may be obstructed. Creative endeavors often thrive when allowed to incubate in solitude, away from contrived encounters.
I remember a teacher’s remark from my elementary days, one that stoked the fires of my existential contemplation: “If you pursue happiness single-mindedly, you may find yourself defeated by a madman.” Happiness, I’ve come to believe, is an elusive prize, one that’s often more accessible to women and high-level directors, who’ve borne the weight of countless decisions, strategic thinking, and resource optimization.
Empathy, for me, sometimes falters when it comes to comprehending the unique challenges faced by women. I can’t fathom the monthly cycle of change or the monumental task of ushering life into this tumultuous world. Similarly, the burdens carried by CEOs and leaders, while commendable, sometimes seem distant from my own experiences.
It’s not that I’m averse to happiness; it’s a vital ingredient for a fulfilling life. Yet, it appears to be a byproduct of purposeful action rather than an end in itself.
I yearn to build, to architect solutions for problems both existing and those I might unearth. It’s a driving force, an intrinsic need to contribute meaningfully. In the absence of challenges, I’m inclined to seek them out, for it’s in overcoming obstacles that I find my true purpose.
i knew things like ‘spotlight effect’, ’the mind explained netflix series’, or any content that makes you realize that you’re not special in this world.
kullu nafsin daikotul maut (everyone will die), YOLO, carpe diem, enthropy and complexity as high as the time goes, and people more neurotical in youth age before 25, and so on.
but i still find it hard to cure my social anxiety, i dont know.
i try to adapt and make myself used to it for a couple of months or years, i didnt count or tracked it. but since i study for bachelor degree in near jakarta, big city with big populations, and the public transport is better, i could make myself used to go to anywhere alone,
but since i grew up in indonesia which more inclined to social, there’s something social anxiety whenever you do anything alone, especially when when i need to eat in the public restaturant or something.
and which one is better, whether country which is more individual or social, becuase each of them have different unique characteristics, pros and cons. but for social cultured
i really hate small talks, so phony, cheap happiness.
please, talk to me about your dream, your vision, your aspiration!
i am a perverted, i like hearing people do mental masturbation. it some sort of sense of freedom, and freedom is spread and contagion, that sometimes it makes me wanna tell my story too, so we’re doing mental masturbation together, it making me less pervert than.
and when people discuss complex things they find amusing, i find interest to that person.
i prefer jokes about dirty. and dark, like how is the condition of palestine. beacuse i think it is start to acknowledge problems, to first step to test and validate, and to check whether your heart is dying or not. because if your heart is healthy then you probably feel so guilty and regret for making such jokes, and you keep thinking what is the things i can do to repay my such bastard behaviour.
cto always talk about hobby food, glamorous event and places, expensive watched and so on
what you dont learn at HBS harvard, how to win friends, all phony and obvious things.
i think its for only executives. because it really blocked. obstacles form what your real aspiration, unless you have a vision and interest with that one. you have to let the man alone to build creative things and not with some phony interaction.
my teacher once said that worsen my existential crisis from elementary school “if you want pursue happiness, you will lose from a madman”
happiness is only for woman, and for high level director, because they have feel the pain, think too much how to survive, how to optimize multi dimension resource in their businesss.
i can’t never empathize with woman. like i cant imagine every month i should change diaper, and one day i should bring life to this hell. i cant empathize with it, with woman, or high level ceo, the leaders, big people. so its understandable that woman should be happy.
but for little man like me who is lacking of pain, they must find it the pain, they must suffer. there’s no one aprreciate your lumber, the builder of link under the sea, bringing sampah and others. a man can only appreiate themself. one who cannot appreciate themself falls into depression, addiction, or even suicide, they they bare too much pain, forgot how to be a woman.
its not that im anti of happiness, happiness is needed for enjoyment of long life, but its more like by product of action, not the output you’d like to pursue.
i want to build, i want to architecting to solve problems. if there’s not problems, i would try to find or even create it myself.